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Thursday, December 12, 2013

Buy Trek ... Or Anything But Specialized


Read THIS.  This same dude led me out, the first to go dirt crit style, at the now defunct Cactus Cup.  He led me down the wrong path and in doing so got me canned from the evening crit.  And when I petitioned toget let in because the douche on the lead moto got me lost and added time to my, well, time I got DQ'd. he did not step up and defend his mistake. 

SO NOT A STAND UP DUDE.  CAPITALISTIC PIG ALL THE WAY.

BUY TREK, GIANT OR ANYTHING OTHER THAN SPECIALIZED.  

BE ABOUT THE BIKE, NOT THE BUCK. 

Sunday, October 6, 2013

WhatTheFu..........


So some of you might be wondering where in the fuck I have been?  Good question.  I have been busy.  Life has caught up with the fun.  Don't get me wrong - LIFE IS FUN - it's just that there has been a lot to do that does not revolve around me and that, my friends, is something I am not used to.  

I am on my eighth month of coaching select, travel softball.  That means I am on the road most every weekend.  When not travelling, there are 7.5 hours of practices to plan and execute each week. There is work.  That is a whole other story for another post.  There is riding - which up until this week is pretty nonexistent; which translates into I AM A FAT AND SLOW FUCK RIGHT NOW.   But I am on that and it will change quickly. MY wife decided going back to college would be awesome.  And it is.  Just not while she is there.  I can't wait for her to be done so I can shift my focus - yet again. 

All in friends, things are pretty standard, just busy.  I am back on the bike.  I do need a new 'cross bike and I broke my mountain bike frame and I am in the process of warrantying that piece of dung.  The company sent me a new frame with no rear shock and mine, of course, is not compatible.  I am pretty sure the whole point of a warrantee is to replace a valued customer's broke ass shit with something that works and is not broke?   Should be simple.  But it's not.  

Check back often.  If you like my writing it can be found HERE and HERE as well.

Out!

Saturday, April 6, 2013

Only Two Days I Like Better Than Friday


Alright, alright, alright, alright.  There has been an assload of shit going on in my world.  Now I am not one to stress on the potential, the future, the shit that is not mine to control, but that is exactly what I have been doing.  Done now though.  So over it.  And do you know what it is that gets me over this kind of crap?  Those three bi-wheeled sleds in the shot above.  Time to focus and be about the bike again.  I have been riding, but I am down to 4 days a week from 5 or 6 and that is unacceptable.  Even my wife is telling me to go ride; that proves that I am not riding enough.
I will start on the road today and open the legs up with a nice 45 or 50 miler.
And then Sunday you can find me on Tam for an all mountain shred with the boys.  The time is nigh to pay my knobby wheeled respect to the sleeping maiden.  

Out!

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

This Time I am Really Back






So if you are here you may just like what I have to say.  If that is the fact, and you are not here to see the train wreck that I can be, thank you. 

I write for Cycling Illustrated and you can check out my words HERE.

And if you are truly a fan and would like to drop a whole 99 cents on my ebook, that can be found HERE.  The stories in that puppy are fiction but based loosely on my days as a bartender and might just make you wet yourself with laughter or go ewwwwwww, too.

Thanks in advance.

Monday, February 18, 2013

I'm Baaaaack

Been riding a lot.  Went from almost fit, to fat, to almost fit again.  I have that early ripe, early rotten feeling I used to get back in the day.  So,I have been slowing things down a bit.  Plus, after seeing this wicked awesome video, I told myself I would not post until I was at least as good as this awesome lady.  After much broken furniture, some superficial burns, 3 new carbon forks after sliding off the rollers and into family members, 4 trips to the dentist and 1 colostomy bag, I am now a capable egg cook on the rollers.

I do not recommend trying this at home, bitches.  Shit is hard.

Monday, January 21, 2013

I Had A Dream ...

Actually, it was more of a vision as I had the day off and embraced my freedom and rode a cool 68 miles.  A new cat I met took me on a West Marin road bike ride to Mount Vision in the Pt. Reyes National Seashore.  Fucking awesome.  This ride may just be my favorite road ride of all time. And I use 'road ride' loosely, as there is a load of dirt and gravel to be had; perhaps this is why this is my #1 ride.  
This is just a taste.  I snapped a picture when my comrade was changing his first of two flats.  But, like I said, awesome day, awesome ride, awesome company.  Well, I must part ways here.  I will be back soon.  So come on by and check out my words.  Thanks for your time.

Out!

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Manti Te'o - Got nothing on Me

There is something awesome about throwing a leg over a 'cross bike.  Not matter how slow I try to go, I find   myself pushing harder because I know how hard it is to just barely hang on to the back of the pack in a fast group.  So, in a word - picture - like the one above is how I feel on the 'cross bike.  Tam was my playground today and I am thankful for the chance to grace the Sleeping Maiden's trails with my knobbies, sweat and stink.
Have you fools seen this picture of Rochelle Gilmore.  This lady is fit, fast, flirty and smoking fucking hot.  Check her out if you get the chance.

Out!

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

The Beginning is Not Always Best

I have to say with all honesty and touch of fucking enthusiasm that Mount Tam, right this very minute - well week or two anyway - is absofuckinglutely perfect for the 'cross bike.  It's wet but not too sloppy.  It's cool but the sun is shining.  The birds are ... better get out of my fucking way ... chirping.  And I have to say that dropping down Fish on the 'Cross bike is what cycling is all about.  You see that picture there?   There?  Up there?  Come on.  Work with me now.  The one directly above .... now.  That's the mouth that feeds into one of the most stellar descents on a 'cross bike: steep, very steep, shaded by redwoods, moist, dual track that is smooth from the Ranger traffic, rocky in the middle, burmed and banked and water-barred and faster than a $2 Tijuana whore with a dick.  It is that good, friends.  I implore you, if you have the means ( a 'cross bike) and the time, because if you have the desire you will find the time, to go ride this little slice of Key Lime pie heaven.  That ... is ... all.

Out!

Saturday, January 5, 2013

New Year Will Be My Year

Last Saturday's MVC ride.  Gorgeous.  Colder than a frozen jockstrap but it sure was picturesque.  So I have decided that 2013 will be my year.  We are 5 days in and I have ridden 4 and run 1 and will be riding both days this weekend.  I am writing again - fiction - and therefore will be updating this blog at least a lot of times a week.  I am writing my weekly column for CYCLING ILLUSTRATED and you have probably read my ebook BEHIND BARS and if you have not I cannot think of a better way to spend $0.99.  Yes, that is less than a fucking dollar.  

Oh, and get this.  I have THE 'cross loop on Tam.  Awesome.  Check it out and follow me on Strava - Hayride . or don't because I really could not give less of a shit.  But I do implore you to read my column and my ebook - for those of you who are technology challenged the bright red capital letters above are links.  Seriously.  Buy the book.  Read it.  Laugh.  I am working on two others and,honestly, could use the inspiration to keep on pecking away at this dang ole keyboard.

Happy new year.  Enjoy.  Make it your bitch and enjoy it to the utmost.  I heard this quote the other day.  Can you name the movie?  

"The clock is running. Make the most of today. Time waits for no man. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it is called the present."

Out!